


like real people do

by boiledfeetbeta



Series: Komahina Stuff [11]
Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheesy, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Past Sexual Abuse, Recovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Trust Issues, comfort ship go brr, hinata is a good boyfriend, please dont read if you're triggered by any of the tags !!, tw!!, vent i suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:49:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28494159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boiledfeetbeta/pseuds/boiledfeetbeta
Summary: ~Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips,We should just kiss like real people do.~in which hajime finds nagito bleeding in the bathtub and they have a conversation
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito
Series: Komahina Stuff [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194500
Comments: 6
Kudos: 177





	like real people do

**Author's Note:**

> Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255  
> Sexual Abuse Hotline: 1-800-656-4673  
> help is always available.  
> ~  
> HI UM somehow this work got over 1000 hits? first of all, that's fucking INSANE and thank you all so much??? i love you guys

Nagito was huddled in the bathtub, knees pulled up to his chest. There was a lot of blood. He hated blood, but that was why he kept doing this. He wanted to feel despair. His jacket was too hot and uncomfortable, and he felt like screaming, but he stayed silent. He rocked back and forth, whispering gibberish to himself in hopes of calming down. If he didn’t want the others to think he was crazy, he shouldn’t have done all the things he did. And he certainly shouldn’t have been hurting himself on purpose.

But there was something so cathartic about bleeding out all by himself in his bathroom. No one was coming to help him. He wouldn’t die, of course, his luck would never allow that, even though he so desperately longed to.

He slipped his jacket off his slim shoulders so he could bandage his arms. It hurt.

_Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?_

Junko would get so mad when he did this. She would dig her long fingernails into his wounds until he promised to stop. He could feel it still. She would pull the corners of his mouth up, so it looked like he was smiling.

He knew she did the same things to Mikan. Hell, it might have been worse for her. At least he deserved it. The roll of bandage ripped. He whimpered.

He knew he was crazy. He had known ever since he was little, when he would hear things that weren’t there and say things that made people upset. And he hated loud sounds and didn’t understand jokes even when they were supposed to be funny.

_You’re insane, you know that?_

Oh, he knew.

“ _Hey, are you okay in there?”_

He was hearing things again. It had been a while since he had taken his meds, right? He couldn’t remember. He covered his ears, shaking his head.

_“If you don’t answer me, I’m coming in.”_

Everything was blurry and he felt faint. The voice was muffled by the sound of his heartbeat. He covered his mouth so he wouldn’t cry too loudly.

“Open up, Komaeda.”

He was closer now. It took Nagito too long to realize he wasn’t hallucinating, and now someone was going to see him like this in the bathtub, bleeding everywhere. He shoved his jacket back on over his shoulders, dropping the bloody razor blade down the drain.

“Don’t come in!” He said, trying to steady his voice. “I’m changing—!”

“Can you please hurry up? We’re worried…”

“Don’t be! I’m just getting ready for bed!” His voice cracked on the last word. He drew a shaky breath.

“Komaeda?”

“…”

“Tell me you’re okay and I’ll leave.”

It was Hajime. Of course it was. Sweet, considerate Hajime. He was here because he was worried, and now he had to be faced with…

This.

“Don’t come in…” He said, almost a whisper.

“Why?”

“Just don’t…”

Hajime pushed the door open, the heels of his dress shoes clicking on the bathroom tile.

“Why are you in the bathtub?” He asked.

“I wanted to take a bath…”

“I thought you were changing?”

“I was changing. Into my bathrobe.”

“What bathrobe?”

“It’s not here.”

“You’re bleeding.”

He knelt down so they were at eye-level.

“Did someone hurt you?” He whispered.

“No…”

“Are you hurting yourself?”

Hajime pushed his bangs out of his eyes.

“Can you show me that you’re okay?”

His nose twitched.

Hajime took that as a yes, taking Nagito’s pale hands in his. He inspected them just as he would a murder back in the simulation. He ran his fingertips over Nagito’s palms, looking them up and down for any signs of trauma. His heart was beating out of his chest. He wished he was dead, because Hajime was going to find out what he did to himself. He would hate him for the rest of his life. Hajime went to roll up his jacket sleeves. Nagito needed a distraction.

_Thunk!_

He slammed his head against the ceramic side of the bathtub, the pain reverberating through his skull. That would surely leave a bruise, but he didn’t care. He had distracted Hajime.

“Are you okay?” He panicked, taking Nagito’s face in his hands. “Why did you do that?”

He chuckled, eyes tearing up. His bottom lip quivered.

“Komaeda!”

“…”

“Take your jacket off. Now.” He demanded. His eyebrows furrowed.

“W-what?”

“Take it off.”

Oh. This was his plan all along.

“No, no…” He whispered to himself. “Please…”

He never expected this. Out of everyone in the world, Hajime was the last person he wanted to take advantage of him. Not that he didn’t deserve it, but still. Hajime was always so gentle with him, so sweet. He never made him do anything he didn’t want to. But now he was about to, and Nagito couldn’t do anything. 

“Please, Hinata-kun, please…” His voice cracked, tears running down his cheeks. “I’ll do anything else, please…”

He choked on his own words, feeling sick to his stomach. He could yell for help, but he knew no one would come. It was probably best for him to close his eyes and just let it happen.

Hajime put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to rid him of his coat. He sobbed.

“I don’t want this, please stop…”

“I’m just trying to help you.” He was frustrated now. If Nagito continued to fight back, this wouldn’t be pretty.

“Stop…”

He was dizzy, head spinning from fear and adrenaline. If he just shut his body down, it might not hurt. He was shaking, curling up into a ball. Once Hajime had removed his jacket, he was sure it would start…

_No, no, no…_

“Do you mind if I put some antiseptic on your arms?”

Nagito snapped out of his trance, looking up at the other boy.

“W-what…?”

Hajime raised one eyebrow.

“I’m not mad, Komaeda. I don’t understand why you would do this to yourself, but I’m not angry.”

“You’re not going to…”

“What?”

“…rape me?” He whispered, voice trembling.

Hajime looked shocked, setting down the bottle and bandages. He covered his mouth with his hand, reaching the other out to touch Nagito before he pulled back.

“Oh, God.” He whispered. “Oh, God, no. Is that why you were—I just thought you were embarrassed, I…”

Nagito looked incredibly small without his coat. Small and vulnerable. Like a puppy.

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea… oh, God, you must be so scared. Hey, please don’t cry… look at me, okay?” He cooed at him like a mother would her child. “I just wanted to make you feel better…”

“Sorry.” Nagito croaked out.

“Hey, don’t be sorry… you didn’t do anything wrong.” He brushed Nagito’s hair with his hands. “Let it all out, okay?”

So he did. He let himself cry like a child, sobbing in a bloody bathtub next to a boy who just happened to be there. Hajime embraced him, letting him cry onto his chest while he stroked his back.

“I’m sorry…”

Hajime shushed him.

“This has been really hard for all of us, but you know you can always ask for help.” He stroked his hair. “Don’t feel like you have to keep this bottled up.”

“I can’t—” His voice broke. “I don’t want to lose you…”

“I’m not going anywhere any time soon.”

“Everyone hates me. They all think I’m crazy and that I’m going to hurt them—” He took a shaky breath. “—And they’re probably right, you know. I’m too dangerous to be kept around. I’m not one of you, Hinata-kun. It’s too late for me—”

“Shh.”

“I’m trying so hard, Hinata-kun, I really am. But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep living like this, it’s too much. I’m scared that I might hurt you—no, I _will_ hurt you—and I’ll be all alone again. It’s selfish, but I don’t want to be alone anymore. If I just stay away, you guys will be able to have a good life. I can’t let myself ruin that for you…”

“Take a deep breath, you’re panicking.”

“You don’t get it—”

Hajime pulled him into a tight hug again, humming something under his breath.

“I don’t get it, you’re right. But you can start by telling me.”

They sat in silence before Nagito spoke.

“You know about my luck cycle, Hinata-kun. You know how dangerous it is for me to stay around you. You’ll end up dead, or worse—” He took a shaky breath. “I can’t let that happen. Hinata-kun, everything is going so well that something bad is bound to happen sooner or later—”

“Breathe.”

“I can’t understand the way I feel about you, Hinata-kun. You… you make me want to stay alive. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, it’s _exhilarating_ and _terrifying—_ I don’t know what this feeling is. I had to make all my feelings for you go away, and I thought that this might work, but of course it backfired—just my luck.”

The brunet held his hand. It was warm and comfortable.

“Komaeda.” Hajime squeezed his palm. “You’ve been keeping this all bottled up, no wonder you’re so overwhelmed.”

Then, Hajime did something completely unexpected.

He stood up, moving over to sit next to Nagito in the bathtub. He put his arms around the boy, brushing his hair with his hands. The red of his blood was a stark contrast to his deathly pale skin and hair. He pulled Nagito’s wrists to his chest, tracing the shallow nicks with the tip of his fingers. Nagito whimpered at the touch.

“I’m so sorry…” Nagito’s voice broke. “I can’t make these feelings go away. And the selfish thing is, I almost don’t want them to. Isn’t that pathetic? I’m not supposed to feel like this. It’s wrong, but… I can’t stop. I’ve been caught harming myself more times than I can count, but you’re the only person who’s ever tried to stop me.”

“And I’ll do it again. As many times as it takes, because I’m not going to lose you.”

“You should hate me. I hate me.”

“I know. We’re going to fix that.”

“Why are you kind to me? Why do you pay attention to me? I’m past the point of repair, Hinata-kun. It’s futile to try to make something out of what’s left of me.”

“Nobody is beyond repair.”

“I’m dying. Waste your time on someone else. Please.”

“I’m not wasting anything. I care about you.”

Hajime held Nagito’s face in his hands, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. He took a wet towel and began to wipe the blood from the paler boy’s wounds, smiling at him.

“Can I stay here tonight?”

“If… that’s what you want, Hinata-kun, I have no place to disagree…”

“Let’s get you to bed.”

Hajime picked him up bridal style, carrying him out of the bathroom and laying him on the bed. Even once Hajime had let go, Nagito didn’t remove his arms from his neck. He wanted to stay like this forever, in the warm embrace of a boy. Hajime sat down next to him, kicking his shoes off.

“Is it alright with you if I lie down here?” He asked.

Nagito nodded.

Hajime turned on his side, looking into his teary eyes. He put an arm around him, brushing his hair with his fingertips. Nagito pulled himself into his chest, listening to his heartbeat. This was the best day of his miserable life, but he was too caught up in the other’s embrace to think about what that might mean for his luck.

“Since we’re officially sleeping together, does that make you my boyfriend?” Hajime joked.

Nagito turned bright red, thankful that his face was obscured. The rate at which his heart was beating was probably not healthy.

“Sorry, was that in poor taste? I forgot—” Hajime started.

“C-call me that again.”

“What, my boyfriend?” He chuckled. “I do want to be your boyfriend, Nagito.”

“No, you’re lying… you can’t possibly be…” His breath quivered, heart fluttering.

“Why are you so surprised? Are you uncomfortable with that?”

“Oh, no, Hinata-kun… I’m ecstatic. I thought I was the only one…”

He took his face out of Hajime’s chest, taking in the sight of him in the moonlight. His eyes were shiny, cheeks rosy and freckled. He gave Nagito his classic crooked smirk, kissing his forehead gently.

“You’re gorgeous, Hinata-kun.” He said, matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, you’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself. And you can call me by my first name.”

That was it. That was what made Nagito sure. All the feelings, the confusion, it was all worth it. Because he knew. He knew he was in love.

Hajime kissed him, and it was like fireworks were going off in his stomach. He didn’t want to stop, to catch his breath, in fear that he might wake up. In fear that this was a dream.

He finally pulled away, wrapping his arms and legs around Hajime like he was a body pillow.

“Hinata-kun—no, Hajime.”

“Mm?”

“I love you, I think.”

“Go to sleep.” Hajime whispered. “And I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Like Real People Do: my favorite song atm, reminded me of them and what prompted me to write this fic  
> Komaeda's Trauma: linked originally to Junko, but i also headcanon he was abused after his parents' death. not a very fun hc, i'm sure, but I suppose I'm projecting.  
> Self-harm: again, not a light topic, but I was going through a bit of a rough patch in the time this was written. if you are in a similar situation, do not be afraid to reach out.  
> Mikan: I like to imagine Nagito and Mikan help each other get better.  
> Komahina: I never understood having a 'comfort ship' before these two, but i think I get it now. They have completely taken over my life.


End file.
